Posted by: cousinbrandon | August 24, 2009

Ain’t Nothing to It But to Haiku It: The Week in Twitter Haiku

I figured I may as well start collecting my haiku here on a weekly basis for those of you who aren’t Twitter-friendly.  What’s more, I realized it might be nice to read them all in one tidy package as opposed to the standard Twitter bits-and-pieces option.  With that, I give you a batch of Cousin Brandon haiku, ranging from Monday, August 17 through Sunday, August 23.  Enjoy.

Mad Men Haiku (August 17, 2009)

After Salvatore
made out with the hotel help,
I puked a little.

Mad Men Haiku 2 (August 17, 2009)

How did Campbell’s wife
get more screen-time than Betty?
Pregnant: still a fox!

Mad Men Haiku 3 (August 17, 2009)

C’mon, Don Draper:
if you are going to cheat,
you can do better.

Mad Men Haiku 4 (August 17, 2009)

Fantastic ending,
but really, Betty: a pin
for your little brat?

Julie the “IT Tech” Haiku (August 17, 2009)

Thanks to you, Julie,
my feeds are digestable.
You kick ass, woman!

Raiders Fan Haiku (August 18, 2009)

Cable’s a bully.
Still, it could be worse. Thank Christ
you don’t have Orton.

Viking Fan Haiku, Take 2 (August 18, 2009)

Just like the phoenix,
Favre rises again. Jesus!
I fucking hate birds.

Obsolete MLB Haiku (August 19, 2009)

Pudge back with Rangers.
If a tree falls in the woods…
Catch my drift, Texas?

State of Young, American Women Haiku (August 20, 2009)

Girls Gone Wild:
that five syllables or three?
Regardless, skank-fest!

Wide Receiver Haiku (August 21, 2009)

So long, Plaxico.
The NFL will miss you.
Stallworth’s still free, right?

Steel City Haiku (August 21, 2009)

I’m off to Pittsburgh.
Hopefully my football draft
will trump Kennywood.

Fantasy Football Wide Receiver Haiku (August 22, 2009)

Settle this for me:
take Plaxico or Stallworth
for All-Convict team?

Candy From a Baby Haiku (August 23, 2009)

Thank you, Owners, for
drafting a second Defense.
This is too easy.

With any luck I’ll remember to start doing this on a weekly basis. Should I forget, though, feel free to remind me. In my advanced years, it’s hard to recall important information sometimes. For instance, I’m pretty sure I have a daughter. Now if only I could remember her name…

Until next time, have at it, you vultures!



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