Posted by: cousinbrandon | September 14, 2009

I Must’ve Been “Hai(ku)”: The Week in Twitter Haiku

And now another week of Twitter Haiku. This installment covers Monday, September 7 through Sunday, September 13. For one reason or another there appears to be a good deal of haiku for this past week, so cry/laugh till it hurts. And by the way, if you didn’t pick up on it already, the title of this post is an homage to an outstanding record, Must’ve Been High by The Supersuckers.

Mad Men Haiku 9 (September 7, 2009)

“You can do better,”
said Draper. Seriously:
Coolest. Dude. Ever.

Mad Men Haiku 10 (September 7, 2009)

Watching Sal perform
“Bye Bye, Birdie” ad MAY have
tipped off the Mrs.

Falsely Imprisoned Stripper Haiku (September 8, 2009)

Tila Tequila:
shot at love followed by shot
by Sean Merriman.

Oakland Raiders Fan Haiku (September 9, 2009)

Seymour’s a no-show.
Look at the bright side: you’ve got
JaMarcus Russell.

Words to Live By Haiku (September 9, 2009)

Don’t look a gift horse
in the mouth. For that matter,
avoid its ass, too.

I’m Drunk Right This Very Moment Haiku (September 9, 2009)

Yuenling Lager’s fine,
but it’s no Miller High Life.
I can’t see so good.

Divine Intervention Haiku (September 10, 2009)

Awake this early
can mean only one thing: God
abhors divorced Jews.

Troy Polamalu Haiku (September 11, 2009)

Steelers fans can breathe
a sigh of relief. Bad knee,
but his hair is fine.

Something to Look Forward To Haiku (September 12, 2009)

The Apocalypse
sounds lovely. No more bills or
jobs. Sweet, sweet release.

College Football Haiku (September 12, 2009)

I can’t pretend I
give a rat’s ass. BCS?
Face it: BC-Ass!

Lamest Sport We Pay Way Too Much Attention To Haiku (September 13, 2009)

Two weeks in and your
seasons are over. College
Football: get it on!

Serena Williams’ Post-Match Press Conference Haiku (September 13, 2009)

“I never said I’d
kill her. I mean, don’t let my
penis size fool you.”

Well, there it is. Another week’s worth of haiku that may or may not change your life. If nothing else, it should provide you with a nice recap of the week in sports, as well as the week in my enraged, pedestrian life.

Until next week, have at it, you vultures!



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