Posted by: cousinbrandon | September 21, 2009

Take a Haik(u), Pal: The Week in Twitter Haiku

And so it goes. Another week of Twitter Haiku to warm your feet and cool your jets. That makes no sense.

This installment covers Monday, September 14 through Sunday, September 20. Sure, you can always read it here in one convenient package, or you could simply follow me on Twitter (@CousinBrandon) and get this sort of useless information firsthand. Look, it’s your call. I’m not here to decide for you. If you want to live your life this way, so be it. By the way, you look like you’ve gained weight.

Sorry, I was channeling my Nana for a moment.

Mad Men Haiku 11 (September 14, 2009)

“You have everything,”
gushed Peg, “and so much of it.”
Best line of the night.

Mad Men Haiku 12 (September 14, 2009)

Store owner? Check. Old
wife of comedian? Check.
Daughter’s teacher? Soon.

Knocked Out of My Fantasy Baseball Playoffs Haiku (September 14, 2009)

My run has ended.
So long, ’09 Jew Heffners.
Here we go, Steelers…

Farewell to Dalton Haiku (September 15, 2009)

RIP Patrick Swayze.
He taught us an important
lesson: Pain don’t hurt.

One-Hundred Million Dollar Haiku (September 16, 2009)

So Dice-K returns
and all is well? Hmmmm. Feels like
Red Sox got Zito-ed!

Ninth pick In My Fantasty Football League Haiku (September 16, 2009)

Many thanks, Owners.
I think I’ll scrape by with Brees.
Bow down to the champ!

Dead “Celebrity” Haiku (September 17, 2009)

Mary Travers died.
Sans Paul and Peter, I’d have
no clue who she was!

When You’re Right, You’re Right Haiku (September 17, 2009)

I watched Beyonce’s
video. It’s great, but you’re
still a dick, Kanye!

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia Haiku (September 18, 2009)

Honey. Vinegar.
The best realtors in the biz.
Vic’s got what you need!

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia Haiku 2 (September 18, 2009)

Two trannies dueling
whooped ass. Wanted to see the
actual duel, though.

Roger Federer US Open Fine Haiku (September 18, 2009)

Fifteen-hundred bucks?
Man, that’s stiff. Poor millionaires:
always getting screwed.

Early Friday Evening Haiku (September 18, 2009)

Three Miller High Lifes
and a steak for dinner. Life,
you’re okay sometimes.

Post-30-Year-Old Curse Haiku (September 19, 2009)

So Tomlinson’s out
already, huh? Nice first round
pick, jerks. Sproles! Sproles! Sproles!

My Opinion of College Football Haiku (September 20, 2009)

USC loses.
Irish and Michigan win.
Sound? One hand clapping.

Well, that’s it for last week’s haiku. Until next time, have at it, you vultures!



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