Posted by: cousinbrandon | October 26, 2009

Koochie Koochie Haiku: The Week in Twitter Haiku

Sure, you might be asking yourself, “Why does one write haiku?” Well, friends, the answer is simple… Mind you, I don’t know the answer, but it’s a simple one.

This installment of haikus covers Monday, October 19 through Sunday, October 25, hitting Mad Men, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, the NL Champion Philadelphia Phillies, Isiah Thomas, my good pals over at Twitter, and my old friends, Booze and Insomnia. As always, you can find this collection here every Monday, or simply subscribe to my Twitter feed and let the good times roll. I refuse to enable you, though. If you want those Tweets fresh from the oven, you’re going to have to subscribe yourself, without any help from me. Okay, fine, here’s a shiny nickle to get you started.

Predictable Haiku (October 19, 2009)

Hello, Mr. Sun.
Nice of you to drop by the
morning we leave. Dick!

Mad Men Haiku 28 (October 19, 2009)

She’s calling your house
and aboard your commute? You’re
getting sloppy, Don.

Mad Men Haiku 29 (October 19, 2009)

I was all too pleased
Peggy didn’t enter Paul’s
office mid-spanking.

Mad Men Haiku 30 (October 20, 2009)

“Spoiler Alert” is
the new “Jump the Shark.” Betty knows
Draper’s Dick Whitman.

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia Haiku 6 (October 20, 2009)

I’d eat a milksteak
and side of jellybeans with
Charlie anytime.

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia Haiku 7 (October 21, 2009)

“You’re not gettin’ shit,
you old bitch!” Oh, Sweet Dee. Mac
is a lucky guy.

The Hell With Today Haiku (October 21, 2009)

Nothing says good night
like a beer. And six glasses
of Cabernet. [Burp.]

No Love For the Phillies Haiku (October 22, 2009)

League champs again. Can’t
wait for ESPN to
lead off with AROD.

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia Haiku 8 (October 23, 2009)

Beware the gimmicks,
Gang, and stick to what makes you
so great: dialogue!

Isiah’s Lost His Magic Haiku (October 23, 2009)

“I thought a cheek kiss
proved I’m not homophobic.
I still can’t coach, though.”

For the People I Love Who Love Me Back Haiku (October 23, 2009)

Oh, @JohnnyChimpo:
your Tweets are like Mencia’s
jokes, only funny.

I Hate You, Irony Haiku (October 24, 2009)

Nothing says “Mornin'”
like 5-year-old wake up at
5 in the mornin’.

Post-Dinner Party Haiku (October 25, 2009)

I never knew 10
people could drink so much wine.
And beer. And vodka.

That’s it for this week’s installment of Twitter haiku. See you here next Monday, when every haiku will contain references to lima beans and Saabs. Or not. Until then, have at it, you vultures!



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