Posted by: cousinbrandon | November 2, 2009

Haiku-Hand Luke: The Week in Twitter Haiku

Maybe the rest of you were prepared for November, but every year it sneaks up on me like a scorpion in a boot. Okay, I have no idea what that means. Seriously, though, November means two things to me and two things only: Thanksgiving is only weeks away, and so is the goddamn winter. I don’t see why we don’t away with this whole 12-month calendar thing and just go to a 6-month schedule beginning with May and ending with October, thus eliminating November through April. I mean, what I wouldn’t give for June 41st or September 56th. That’s right: 60-day months.

This installment of haikus covers Monday, October 26 through Sunday, November 1, hitting Mad Men, the NFL, Andre Agassi, Insomnia, and Halloween. As always, you can find this collection here every Monday, or simply subscribe to my Twitter feed (@CousinBrandon) and let the good times roll.

Don’t Spoil My “Spoiler Haiku” Haiku (October 26, 2009)

Missed last night’s Mad Men.
Feel like a heel. Till later,
Comcast OnDemand.

Mad Men Haiku 31 (October 26, 2009)

Line of the night: “And
who are you supposed to be?”
Even iambic.

Mad Men Haiku 32 (October 26, 2009)

“You were the one,” said
Annabelle to Roger. He
replied, “You weren’t.”

Snack On the Sideline Haiku (October 27, 2009)

Note to Mark Sanchez:
hot dogs are for taunting kids,
not Raiders fans. Creep.

The Good Times Continue In Los Angeles Haiku (October 27, 2009)

Is it worse to be
a Clipper or a fan of
the Clippers? Tough call.

The Lions May Soon Have Company Haiku (October 27, 2009)

Titans owner wants
Vince Young over Collins. Look
out, perfect season!

You Might Want to Skip My House This Year Haiku (October 28, 2009)

Just once, “Trick-or-Treat”
should be rewarded with a
punch to the kidney.

Andre Agassi Haiku (October 28, 2009)

Not sure which is worse:
lying about your meth use
or your fake hair? Fault!

A Strangely Quiet Halloween Haiku (October 29, 2009)

No Trick-or-Treaters
means it’s raining or they saw
the corpse in the yard.

Missing Haiku Haiku (October 30, 2009)

This is the haiku
I’d have written but forgot
to write. So ashamed.

Awake at 5:30 (Again) Haiku (October 31, 2009)

Mornings should come sans
wake-up calls from my daughter
and much more coffee.

Goodbye, October Haiku (November 1, 2009)

Goodbye, Halloween.
Goodbye, slutty costumes. Hello,
slutty turkeys.

Well, that’ll do it for last week’s collection of haiku. So many treasures. Until next time, have at it, you vultures!



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