Posted by: cousinbrandon | November 16, 2009

The Hot Side’s Hot, the Cool Side’s Haiku: The Week in Twitter Haiku

Typically I don’t start my Mondays complaining about Mondays, but fuck that! I’m ridiculously tired thanks to my inability to sleep like a human being, and equally sore thanks to moving furniture all day Sunday. So, with that, imagine my face all shriveled up and angry, internally and externally cursing my job, wondering just how in the hell I’m going to make it through the day without, at the very least, sacrificing someone to the Gods of Insomnia. In other words, just a typical day in the life of Cousin Brandon.

This installment of haikus covers Monday, November 9 through Sunday, November 15, hitting the Mad Men season finale (many times over), It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Wilco, insomnia, the Ex-Wife, Friday the 13th, and the joys of moving. As always, you can find this collection here every Monday, or simply subscribe to my Twitter feed (@CousinBrandon). Either way, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Mad Men Haiku 35 (November 9, 2009)

Peggy crying for
fear Don wouldn’t speak to her
again: Amazing.

Mad Men Haiku 36 (November 9, 2009)

Ransacking the joint
for client information
made me all giddy.

Mad Men Haiku 37 (November 9, 2009)

I still don’t know if
Don calling Betts a whore made
me love or hate him.

Mad Men Haiku 38 (November 9, 2009)

In all honesty,
I was happy that Kinsey
wasn’t invited.

Mad Men Haiku 39 (November 9, 2009)

I’ve said it before
and I’ll say it again: is
Betty blind or dumb?

Why My Workdays Are Unproductive Haiku (November 10, 2009)

Nearly 6:30.
Been awake two hours. Well
played, Insomnia.

Veterans Day Equals No Work Haiku (November 11, 2009)

Having the day off
is like finding twenty bucks
multiplied by eight.

My Assessment of Insomnia Haiku (November 11, 2009)

Woke at 3:30
this morning. Decided Sleep
must be a Commie.

An Upside of Divorce Haiku (November 12, 2009)

Ex-wife is good for
my self-esteem. Reminds me
just how sane I am.

The Music I Love Haiku 1 (November 12, 2009)

Look, Jeff Tweedy, I’m
not tweeting to break your heart.
Did it to say thanks.

The Music I Love Haiku 2 (November 12, 2009)

Someone should tell my
boss to floss his Summerteeth.
Still see broccoli.

Friday the 13th Haiku (November 13, 2009)

What is so scary?
I mean, aside from the blood
dripping from the walls.

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia Haiku 11 (November 13, 2009)

Glad @Glenn_Howerton
and @robmcelhenney patched
things up. Rum and coke?

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia Haiku 12 (November 13, 2009)

If your cat ever
gets into the wall, call
@TheCharlieDay for help.

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia Haiku 13 (November 13, 2009)

@kaitlin_olson knows
it’s not the size of the bird,
but how tight the string.

The Voting Is Over Haiku (November 14, 2009)

I don’t mean to brag,
but my ex is a shoe-in
for “Bitch of the Year.”

It Would Appear I’m a Professional Mover Haiku (November 15, 2009)

Moving furniture
for 8 straight hours is not
“Livin’ the High Life.”

Okay, that’s it for this installment. Until next time, have at it, you vultures!

BD

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