Posted by: cousinbrandon | November 23, 2009

Haik(u) Up Your Skirt: The Week in Twitter Haiku

This was a fairly light week on the haiku front. What’s more, I somehow failed — failed — to post a haiku on November 18. To make amends, I’ll write it right now:

November 18
must have been uneventful
(e.g., no haiku).

And you thought you’d have to go without. Please, I’m nothing if not a gracious host.

This installment of haikus covers Monday, November 16 through Sunday, November 22, hitting my insomnia, a business conference, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and my pal’s birthday party. As always, you can find this collection here every Monday, or simply subscribe to my Twitter feed (@CousinBrandon). [Warning: Cousin Brandon does not assume responsibilty for any injuries sustained during the reading of this post.]

You’ve Fucked Me Again, Insomnia! Haiku (November 16, 2009)

If three hours sleep
and dreaming of prison is
good, I win at life.

Explain This Sleep Thing to Me Again Haiku (November 17, 2009)

It must be nice to
sleep in one’s bed. Or, NOT sleep,
in fact. Either way.

Second Day of My All-Day Conference Haiku (November 19, 2009)

Not sure yet, but they
must have been created by
Hitler or Mao. Jerks.

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia Haiku 14 (November 20, 2009)

D.E.N.N.I.S. must really
be an acronymn for “I’m
lousy with failure.”

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia Haiku 15 (November 20, 2009)

Was it Frank Reynolds
or Jesus who first came up
with the Magnum trick?

To the Host of Last Night’s Birthday Party Haiku (November 21, 2009)

Thank you for the beer
and wine, but I’d like to return
this hangover.

To the Host of Last Night’s Birthday Party Haiku 2 (November 21, 2009)

Water bottle? Check.
Tylenol? Check. Cleaning the
puke off my shoes? Mate.

He’s Not in Kansas (Much Longer) Anymore Haiku (November 22, 2009)

Mark Mangino’s weight
is equaled only by the
heft of his ego.

Well, there you have it. Sure, a light week, but haiku nonetheless. Don’t blame me; life’s got a way of fucking up progress.

Until next time, have at it, you vultures!



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