Yes, it’s intentionally in quotes, because to consider these people celebrities for anything other than their ability to suck ass on screen would be preposterous. I mean, seriously, look at this gaggle of fuckers…
Thank you, Spencer and Heidi, for not sharing your communicable diseases with the rest of us.
Look, Kim Kardashian, no matter how many times you attempt to reinvent yourself and your gnarled family…
…you’ll always be the whorebag who made this “sexy” movie with that guy!
No, New York, we don’t get it, either.
Holy shit! Ellen DeGeneres grew her hair out! And facial hair!
Remember Trishelle from Real World: Las Vegas? That’s her on the right. Glad to see she’s living the dream.
If I was your big brother I’d beat the piss out of every single one of you.
They should have just called this trainwreck Two-and-a-Half Hours From My House.
Okay, so there’s one exception to the rule. Sorry, but I have a strange crush on her. And, hey, at least she’s legitimately successful, right? Fellas? Anyone?
Please, people, make it go away. How I tremble at the thought my daughter will one day tell me the celebrity she most admires is Snooki.
Until Letter “D” creeps all up in your shit, have at it, you vultures!