Happy President’s Day! Hmmm. Perhaps this makes me not only un-American but possibly a Communist, but I’m not so impressed. Sure, having the day off for a federal holiday is nice and all, but what is it we’re actually celebrating at this point? Washington’s birthday? Lincoln’s? Taft’s? I mean, thanks, George Washington, for being the first president of these United States, but what have you done for me lately? Can’t you at least get some new glamor shots for the one-dollar bill? Perhaps an updated profile for the quarter? You’re gettin’ lazy, GW. Just sayin’.
This installment of haikus covers Monday, February 8, 2010 through Sunday, February 14, 2010, featuring school delays, LOST, snow, the Winter Olympics, the metaphysical, my daughter and Valentine’s Day. As always, you can find this collection here every Monday, or go on over and subscribe to my Twitter feed (@CousinBrandon). And for the record, the only reason why I didn’t beg and plead with you to be my valentine is because I’m so full of self-respect. Eh, who am I kidding. Love me. Please. I’m so lonely.
My Daughter’s School’s Been Delayed Haiku (February 8, 2010)
but no snow since Saturday?
I’m confused, Monday.
My Recap of “LA X” in a Single Haiku Haiku (February 9, 2010)
Juliet is dead.
Watching alternate timelines.
Did Hurley gain weight?
Sometimes Winter Isn’t All Bad Haiku (February 10, 2010)
I’m snowed in again.
Just me, Internet, coffe,
and beer. Life is good.
The Winter Olympics Are In My Living Room While Snowed In Haiku (February 11, 2010)
Channel Surfing. The
Empty High Life Can Slalom.
Ice Pocket Hockey.
Exploring the Questions That Keep Me Up at Night Haiku (February 12, 2010)
What’s the sound of one
nut slapping? Something pretty
awesome, I would bet.
My Daughter’s Packing for a Sleepover Haiku (February 13, 2010)
Dresses. Tights. Tank tops.
Barrettes. Lip gloss. Headbands. Dolls.
Where my money’s gone.
My Valentine’s Day Celebration Haiku (February 14, 2010)
This Valentine’s Day
is like any other: me,
red wine and despair.
Well, it looks like that’ll do it for this week. Until next time, have at it, you vultures!