Posted by: cousinbrandon | April 19, 2010

Raise On Hai(ku): The Week in Twitter Haiku

Yes, that’s an Archer Prewitt reference, he of The Sea and Cake prowess.

I suffered through an absolutely horrible night’s sleep. I found myself downright exhausted and in bed by 9:15, and it was another 90 minutes before I fell asleep. Fortunately I woke up and hour later and just rolled around. And after falling asleep (again), I woke up (again) around 3 AM. Back to sleep, then up again at 5:45. What’s a fella to do? On top of it, I was suffering through some horrible dreams. Nothing scary, mind you, but the kind of disturbing content that just makes you uncomfortable. For instance, I dreamed I showed up to work and my boss immediately wanted to sit down for a meeting. I think he was firing me in my dream. Come to think of it, that might have been the opposite of a nightmare. Anyway, enough of this. No one gives a shit about hearing my dreams. Give Built to Spill’s “Made-Up Dreams” a listen for the best lyric ever written on the subject. Thanks, Doug Martsch. And speaking of BTS, I saw another Idaho band this weekend. Thanks to Finn Riggins who played an outstanding show in Harrisburg, along with an unbelievable performance by Delicate Steve (from New Jersey). They killed it.

This installment of haiku covers Monday, April 12, 2010 through Sunday, April 18, 2010, covering rejected taxes, LOST, horrible mornings, A Serious Man, Stephen Strasburg and late night drinking. As always, you can find this collection here every Monday, or go on over and subscribe to my Twitter feed (@CousinBrandon). I won’t insult you by telling you what to do, but if you’re not following/reading/subscribing, well, you smell like poopy.

April 15th is Fast Approaching Haiku (April 12, 2010)

In the ongoing
certainty of taxes and
death, I’ll take death, please.

Submitting My Taxes for the Fourth Time Haiku (April 13, 2010)

How ’bout this, Turbo
Tax®: you accept my return,
I don’t gut-punch you.

How to Ensure You’re Not Running On All Cylinders Haiku (April 14, 2010)

Watching LOST at five
in the morning has scrambled
my brain for the day.

Realizing at 8 AM Things Are Off to a Raucous Beginning Haiku (April 15, 2010)

I put the “Cousin”
inOH FUCKING FORGET IT
TODAY FUCKING SUCKS!

After Watching A Serious Man Haiku (April 16, 2010)

I wish I’d been stoned
during my Bar Mitzvah. High,
I mean, not thrown at!

Why I Failed to See Stephen Strasburg Pitch Last Night Haiku (April 17, 2010)

Tornado warning.
Hail. Power Outage. Thank you,
Harrisburg, you dick!

This Is What Happens When You Have a Late Night Haiku (April 18, 2010)

Somehow I managed
to stay out til 2:30.
Now I’m a pumpkin.

Well, that’ll do it for this week. Until next time, have at it, you vultures!

BD

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