Posted by: cousinbrandon | May 4, 2010

The “Miscellaneous” Mixes: Troutmas 2009

Well, here it is. The last of the Troutmas mixes. Unfortunately, Mick couldn’t get his hands on any of his older ones, so three total mixes from my pal Chuck and I will have to do. The final entry is one of mine, and it’s annoying as hell. And that was my goal: to completely bum out my friends, as they are the ones typically wreaking havoc on others. (And for the record, it worked.) See, these are the guys who make an effort, like myself, to find the most horrible music on any jukebox and play it in hopes of bumming out whatever crowd is assembled. Over the years, we’ve endured everything from threats of physical violence to threats of being kicked out of the bar to having the plug literally pulled from the jukebox in the middle of a song. In fact, I once had a crowd of people at a local watering hole get up in arms only five minutes in to Ween’s live version of “Poopship Destroyer,” which has become my calling card of sorts. (Keep in mind, the track clocks in at over 26 minutes.) In fact, there’s yet another bar here in Central PA in which the bartender, every time he sees me make my way to the jukebox, threatens me that he’ll skip “Poopship Destroyer” if I play it. Pretty awesome.

Unfortunately I couldn’t find gems like “Wear Yo Hat” from the outstanding mockumentary Fear of a Black Hat. “Snowglobe” is merely Desmond from LOST telling Jack that “we’re trapped in a bloody snowglobe.” And the Ron Burgundy bit? That’s him telling his dog he’s amazed he “pooped in the refrigerator and ate a whole wheel of cheese.” Anyway, listen at your own risk. And if you’re so inclined, download the tracks, burn them to disc, and present them to your mom this Mother’s Day. What mother wouldn’t love it?

Troutmas 2009 front cover.

Troutmas 2009 interior art.

Troutmas 2009:

1. Trey Parker – “America, Fuck Yeah””    
2. Joe Harnell – “The Lonely Man (Theme from The Incredible Hulk)
3. The Kids in the Hall – “Running Free
4. NWH – “Wear Yo Hat”
5. Ed “The Ed” Miller – “Laverne & Shirley Theme Song
6. Flight of the Conchords – “Too Many Dicks (on the Dance Floor)”
7. Kid ‘N Play – “Rollin’ with Kid ‘N Play
8. Josh Peck (composer) – “Give Me Back that Filet-O-Fish
9. Mac – “What’s Up, Bitches
10. Dick Banks – “Kareem Abdul-Jabar
11.  Huff ‘N Doback – “Boats ‘N Hoes
12. Toto – “Rosanna
13. Jones – “Jones BBQ and Foot Massage”         
14. Peter Griffin – “You Have AIDS
15. Ed “The Ed” Miller – “Booty in the Front
16. Bell & James – “The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh
17. Desmond Hume – “Snowglobe”
18. Dick Banks – “Kevin Garnett
19. Unknown – “3-2-1 Contact Theme Song
20. Dolly Parton – “9 to 5
21. Alan Partridge – “Dan
22. Charlie Kelly – “Wildcard, Bitches!
23. Ed “The Ed” Miller – “Oh No
24. Flight of the Conchords – “Carol Brown
25. Ron Burgundy – “You Ate a Whole Wheel of Cheese?”
26. Bruce McCulloch – “The Terrier Song
27. Ed “The Ed” Miller – “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”
28. Kenny Loggins – “Footloose
29. Charlie Kelly – “Vietnam”
30. Flight of the Conchords – “Sugalumps
31. Gloria Loring – “The Facts of Life Theme Song
32. NWH – “Don’t Shoot Till You See the Whites
33. Huey Lewis and The News – “Hip to be Square
34. Time for Timer – “Hanker for a Hunk of Cheese
35. Dave D. – “I Want Cheechoo-Teemu
36. Tim & Eric – “All the Food is Poison
37. DVDA – “Now You’re a Man
38. Dick Banks – “Stairway to Seven
39. Mark Safan – “Win in the End
40. The Cast of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia – “Dayman, The Musical

So I guess that’s gonna’ do it for the Troutmas collection. Until next time, have at it, you vultures!




  1. Um, 3 Flight of the Conchord songs, 2 Trey Parker songs, and the Family Guy You Have Aids song? That’s not annoying, that’s awesome. Get your adjectives right.

    • Well look, a., you and I clearly have a different definiton of “annoying” than most, as those songs rule. The general public, though, may not agree.

  2. ..Let me lock in the system at Warp 2
    Push it on into systematic overdrive, you know what to do

  3. Nothing like great annoying music to piss off your friends. My question is, do you really have these terrible songs/albums wasting space on your computer? I will have to send you a copy of the mix I made for my buddies faux wedding on Cape Cod. You would have heard it if you would have gotten off your dead ass and come up. Anywho, nice work.

  4. Also, do you have the “Fear of a Black Hat” soundtrack? If you do you have got to send it to me.

    “P”, Political, “U”, Unrest, “S”, Stabilize, another “S”, Society, “Y”, Yeah.

    • Of course I have the “Hat” soundtrack. I’m no communist, Sir.

      And, yes, I have this music on my computer. I highly suggest you send me a copy of the CD you made, for the record.

  5. sure, there are a few gems on this bitch, but it really looks much better on paper than in practice.

    anyhoo, i was thinking next year may well be the 10 year anniversary of the original troutmas cd. (it was a putrid piece of shit mick put together featuring a techno version of the pacman theme and, yes, it got smashed.)

    i think it’s probably time for a “greatest hits” compilation.

    whose eyes?

    • Whatever. That thing is pretty damn solid.

      I like where your head’s at with the Best of Troutmas disc. It could be legendary.

      Heads totally exposed to the sun, Sir.

    • Nah, don’t shoot until you see the whites, period. That’s it, end of story

  6. maybe roll with “Troutmas’s Greatest (s)Hits”

    …not even a babushka.

  7. Here are a few tunes that I had put on mine over the years. I never saved the tracklists though, but i still have most of the tunes on my computer. I think Madar may still have one of my discs in his car possibly.

    Leprechaun gimme da gold rap video

    Insane Poetry – Choppin Up a Body

    Orbital – Pac Man Theme (Chuck’s favorite)

    ‘Weird Al’ Yankovic – White & Nerdy

    Chet Atkins – Alley Cat

    Hung, William – Achy Breaky Heart

    Master P – Make Em’ Say Uhh

    rick dees and his cast of idiots – disco duck

    William Shatner – Common People

    Skee Lo – I Wish

    McRib song – hold you one more time

    Hulk Hogan – Hulkster In Heaven

    macho man randy savage – be a man

    Borat – In my Country There Is Problem

    • Oh no! The Lep in the hood is certainly up to no good.

  8. mick, you forgot one of my real all-time faves: “modeling sucks.”

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