Posted by: cousinbrandon | September 22, 2010

The Angry(er) Alphabet: Things I Hate, From A to Z (O)

O-Face

Sure, we’ve all seen Office Space. And, yes, it’s a funny movie starring a highly-underrated Ron Livingston, who kicked all sorts of ass in Band of Brothers as Captain Lewis Nixon. Who else starred in Office Space? That guy up there. Him, with the tie. Yeah, whatever is name is. Well, he was so good as to point out that if things went well on his date, he’d be showing her his “O-Face.” As in “Orgasm Face” or “Oh” face when he fucked her. Hilarious. Truly. I’m peeing myself as I type just thinking about it.

Okay, at the time it was kind of funny. I mean, in the context of the movie, it worked. It was something I hadn’t heard before. It made me laugh. But, see, here’s the thing: it’s run its fucking course! It’s as funny as those douchebags who are still walking around with their frat buddies saying “Yeah, baby!” and “Wassup.” Furthermore, O-Face guy, really? I mean, I guarantee you’re still making your way in the world doing bit parts, telling every broad you meet, “Hey, I’m the ‘O-Face’ guy. Wassup?” Oh, sorry. My humblest apologies. I mean, you did appear in this.

But I guess it’s not all bad, right? I mean, you did manage to spawn some of this awesomeness (by which I mean “terrible-ness”):

Product Placement:


“Want to drink our shitty vodka? No? There’s a blowjob in it for you!…”

Spoofs:


“My ‘O-Face’ means I’m having a(nother) heart attack.”

Athletic Competition:


Technical Foul!


Umm, who’s O-Face is more disturbing: Mickelson’s, or the background guy’s who looks like he could use a box of Kleenex?

Celebrity Endorsements:


Did you know Katy Perry was famous for her songwriting and majestic voice? Well, neither did Katy Perry.


Hey, look! It’s a country music star/whore, and she’s using sex to sell herself! Oh, and she’s clearly high as fuck. O(no)-Face!


Does anyone else think John Mayer’s O-Face makes him look, well, special?

Alien Round-Ups:


“Oh, guess what?! My people eat your people for fuel!”

No one fucking cares about your O-Face, mainly because the expression “O-Face” is fucking horrible and stupid and pointless and worthless. Congratulations on making an ass/whore out of yourselves based on your ability to show the rest of us what you look like when you fuck. I can’t wait for America’s latest and greatest reality show, (O) Face the Music!

That’ll do it for this installment. So until Letter “P” smacks you upside your stupid head, have at it, you vultures!

BD

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Responses

  1. That Mickelson picture is fucked up man. Awesome!

    • It surfaced a while back and, yeah, it’s disturbing.

      • Big fan of the Tyra caption also. Good stuff.

  2. But isn’t it all worth it just to see that broad in the vodka ad? Holy hell.

    • You’re so very lonely, #19. So very lonely, indeed.

  3. People are still saying “O-Face?” Really?

    • Indeed. Hell, there are entire sites and advertising campaigns dedicated to that shit. Worse still are the sports anchormen who say, “They’re ba-a-a-ck.”

  4. To those old, over used, movie catch phrases I say this; “Hasta la vista, baby.”

    But yeah… I’ve never heard any of my friends use the “O-face” reference, and we all love The Office Space. I’d say “Case of the Mondays” is used more frequently. It must be all you old, square people saying O-Face. I’ve never seen a less hip hipster…


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